The audience is applauding and cheering saying "Bravo" and "Encore" as I walk off the stage with my clarinet firmly across my chest and my fellow performer walking behind me. I can feel my mouth cramping because I'm smiling so much, but I can't stop. I guess I'm just too proud of what we accomplished. I can see that the audience also was pleased with the performance by their grinning faces and strong applause. I did it.
The upcoming school year is 2008. Fifth grade. It's the last year of junior school and the last year of taking things easy. Fourth grade wasn't very challenging, but I know that having different teachers and music classes will make fifth grade much more difficult. I take a moment to calm down and stop stressing about it. I relax my shoulders and take a deep breath.
"Hey, Chloe. I asked which music did you choose for next year? Band? Orchestra? Choir?"
"What?" I replied after dazing off and not hearing her. I still was in my daze and I didn't want to come out. It was soothing.
"Music for next year, did you decide?"
I can picture the roaring crowd applauding me for my amazing performance. Imagine me up on stage, bowing and thanking the audience for their applause. A single beam of sweat is running down my face as I walk off stage. Wait. What did she ask? Oh right!
"Clarinet! I'm going to play the clarinet, so I guess I'll be in band." I spat out of my mouth, just so she would know I wasn't hesitant. I know what she would say.
"Chloe, it's a lot of work, time, and effort. You need to really want this. Clarinets aren't very cheap either, you know?"
Yes, I know, but this is what I want. I want it all, the skill, the responsibility, and the hard work. I want it all, but before any of that can I happen I need to buy a clarinet. There are three possibilities for purchasing a quality R16 wood clarinet, which are Global Music Supply, Music Center of Hawaii, or Harry’s Music Store. Mrs. Himeda recommends Music Center of Hawaii because it offers the largest selection of name-brand wind instruments and accessories; it’s also very convenient. I trust her judgment completely, so the decision is simple. After going to the Music Center of Hawaii and purchasing my two thousand dollar clarinet with my mom, I waited patiently for summer school to start, and with it my first lesson.
The final week of freedom passes and I find myself walking into Montague hall. As I enter room 105 for my first lesson, I feel my heartbeat speed up. My breathing also is malfunctioning because I can’t exhale properly. Yikes, I’m pretty sure I need to breathe well to play a wind instrument, but there’s not much I can do now. I don’t know why I’m so nervous though. I already know Mrs. Himeda is thoughtful and extremely knowledgeable. I’ll stop worrying.
“Hey Mrs. Himeda!” I say as I try to give her a genuine smile.
“Hi there Chloe! So, shall we begin? We have a lot to cover.”
I’m listening to her every word, trying to remember every detail, and thinking that this is pretty complicated. Keep mouth corners in, bottom teeth into the lower lip right where it’s wide, tongue just a crack to the right for maximum tonguing possibility, blow from the stomach instead of the throat, keep my chin not too high or too low, sit up straight, keep my fingers relaxed, open G is no holes, low F sharp is either low right or far left, two sidebars to play E flat, and three main registers: Chalumeau, throat, clarion, high, and extreme. Whoa.
When I finish my lesson and drive home, I pull my clarinet out right away. I unbuckle the case, screw the five pieces together, suck on a reed, place it on the mouthpiece, and screw on the ligature. That’s the easy part. I pull the piece Edelweiss from my brand new music folder and go to the piano in my house; it’s the only place where there is a stand. I glance through the whole piece and remember what Mrs. Himeda said. Work on building up the weakest point until it’s the strongest. Continue doing that until there are no more weak points. Simple enough. A dotted-half note, eighth note, quarter note, then slurred F sharp to E to D. I work for that for ten minutes, and then go onto the next weakest point. I continue doing this for an hour and a half. I go back to the dotted-half note and eighth note part to make sure it still is strong and find out it sounded just as awful as it was at the start of my practice session. Furious, I swipe my hand across the stand and all the sheet music goes flying. This is when I realize; it’s not the music’s fault that it sounds atrocious. It’s me. This is when I realize the clarinet is not for me. I’m going to quit.
I wait a week for my second lesson, the lesson where I will tell Mrs. Himeda I’m going to stop lessons. She’ll be disappointed. She loves the clarinet so much, and I know she wants me too, but I just am not talented like her. I walk in the room giving her an awkward side grin.
“While I was practicing the other day, I realized I’m not very skilled in playing the clarinet. I tried really hard, but I just couldn’t get it. I probably should quit.”
“Everything is hard before it is easy. Don’t give up, Chloe. You haven’t built your confidence up yet, but you will and just go for it!”
Once again, I drive home and immediately take out my clarinet. I stare at it for a while before I start playing and take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I take out Edelweiss and play the dotted-half note and eighth note section. I decrease the tempo so I can focus on the accuracy instead of the speed. I tell myself “You can do it. Just go for it.” I listen to myself play. Instead of hearing the expected foul group of notes, I hear music. I can do this; I know I can.
A week before the final summer recital, I meet with my partner who is playing the second part in Edelweiss. Heather and I are both first year students and both struggled in the beginning, but worked through our difficulties to make the music beautiful. We work on syncing our parts and making sure we enter and leave the notes together. We sound lovely and I know we will give an amazing performance.
It’s Saturday, July 19. This is the moment of truth; either make it or break it. We’ll make it. While I sit patiently listening to other performers, I can once again feel my heartbeat gradually speed up. I take a few deep breaths, but I can't stop the feeling of panic in my body. I tilt my head to the left and right cracking it to relieve some of my stress. All of my fingers are rapidly moving as I tap my leg furiously. My left leg is also twitching madly as I try to stop it with my shaking hands. I decide to stick my hands under my thighs to stop myself from shaking, but it just tenses me up even more. All of my muscles are clenched as I nervously watch the other performers. I check the program to see when I will be playing. I'm next. I take a couple deep and slow breaths and a couple deep and slow gulps too. After stretching out my legs and arms, I prepare to hear my name and walk on stage.
“Now playing Edelweiss, here’s Chloe and Heather.”
Together, we stand up and walk onto the stage. I follow Heather up the couple of stairs and behind our stands. We bow, let the audience clap for us, set our music on the stand, and sit down. I glance at her to make sure she’s ready then slightly lift my head to queue us in. The entrance is perfect and we continue to play in unison. I feel the spirit of the piece as we play it and I hear the beautiful sound all around the room. I nervously pick up and place down my fingers on the different keys and continue making the glorious music. My hands are tense though and I make a few mistakes here and there. Some of the notes are too early or late. Noticing this, I relax my shoulders, thus relaxing my hands and adjust my playing technique. We are now perfectly in sync. We end the piece in a lovely harmony and I cut us off by making a small circle with the bottom of my clarinet. We stop playing because the piece is over, stand up, and take our final bow.
The audience is applauding and cheering saying "Bravo" and "Encore" as I walk off the stage with my clarinet firmly across my chest and my fellow performer walking behind me. I can feel my mouth cramping because I'm smiling so much, but I can't stop. I guess I'm just too proud of what we accomplished. I can see that the audience also was pleased with the performance by their grinning faces and strong applause. I did it.
Notes of Life
The audience is applauding and cheering saying "Bravo" and "Encore" as I walk off the stage with my clarinet firmly across my chest and my fellow performer walking behind me. I can feel my mouth cramping because I'm smiling so much, but I can't stop. I guess I'm just too proud of what we accomplished. I can see that the audience also was pleased with the performance by their grinning faces and strong applause. I did it.
The upcoming school year is 2008. Fifth grade. It's the last year of junior school and the last year of taking things easy. Fourth grade wasn't very challenging, but I know that having different teachers and music classes will make fifth grade much more difficult. I take a moment to calm down and stop stressing about it. I relax my shoulders and take a deep breath.
"Hey, Chloe. I asked which music did you choose for next year? Band? Orchestra? Choir?"
"What?" I replied after dazing off and not hearing her. I still was in my daze and I didn't want to come out. It was soothing.
"Music for next year, did you decide?"
I can picture the roaring crowd applauding me for my amazing performance. Imagine me up on stage, bowing and thanking the audience for their applause. A single beam of sweat is running down my face as I walk off stage. Wait. What did she ask? Oh right!
"Clarinet! I'm going to play the clarinet, so I guess I'll be in band." I spat out of my mouth, just so she would know I wasn't hesitant. I know what she would say.
"Chloe, it's a lot of work, time, and effort. You need to really want this. Clarinets aren't very cheap either, you know?"
Yes, I know, but this is what I want. I want it all, the skill, the responsibility, and the hard work. I want it all, but before any of that can I happen I need to buy a clarinet. There are three possibilities for purchasing a quality R16 wood clarinet, which are Global Music Supply, Music Center of Hawaii, or Harry’s Music Store. Mrs. Himeda recommends Music Center of Hawaii because it offers the largest selection of name-brand wind instruments and accessories; it’s also very convenient. I trust her judgment completely, so the decision is simple. After going to the Music Center of Hawaii and purchasing my two thousand dollar clarinet with my mom, I waited patiently for summer school to start, and with it my first lesson.
The final week of freedom passes and I find myself walking into Montague hall. As I enter room 105 for my first lesson, I feel my heartbeat speed up. My breathing also is malfunctioning because I can’t exhale properly. Yikes, I’m pretty sure I need to breathe well to play a wind instrument, but there’s not much I can do now. I don’t know why I’m so nervous though. I already know Mrs. Himeda is thoughtful and extremely knowledgeable. I’ll stop worrying.
“Hey Mrs. Himeda!” I say as I try to give her a genuine smile.
“Hi there Chloe! So, shall we begin? We have a lot to cover.”
I’m listening to her every word, trying to remember every detail, and thinking that this is pretty complicated. Keep mouth corners in, bottom teeth into the lower lip right where it’s wide, tongue just a crack to the right for maximum tonguing possibility, blow from the stomach instead of the throat, keep my chin not too high or too low, sit up straight, keep my fingers relaxed, open G is no holes, low F sharp is either low right or far left, two sidebars to play E flat, and three main registers: Chalumeau, throat, clarion, high, and extreme. Whoa.
When I finish my lesson and drive home, I pull my clarinet out right away. I unbuckle the case, screw the five pieces together, suck on a reed, place it on the mouthpiece, and screw on the ligature. That’s the easy part. I pull the piece Edelweiss from my brand new music folder and go to the piano in my house; it’s the only place where there is a stand. I glance through the whole piece and remember what Mrs. Himeda said. Work on building up the weakest point until it’s the strongest. Continue doing that until there are no more weak points. Simple enough. A dotted-half note, eighth note, quarter note, then slurred F sharp to E to D. I work for that for ten minutes, and then go onto the next weakest point. I continue doing this for an hour and a half. I go back to the dotted-half note and eighth note part to make sure it still is strong and find out it sounded just as awful as it was at the start of my practice session. Furious, I swipe my hand across the stand and all the sheet music goes flying. This is when I realize; it’s not the music’s fault that it sounds atrocious. It’s me. This is when I realize the clarinet is not for me. I’m going to quit.
I wait a week for my second lesson, the lesson where I will tell Mrs. Himeda I’m going to stop lessons. She’ll be disappointed. She loves the clarinet so much, and I know she wants me too, but I just am not talented like her. I walk in the room giving her an awkward side grin.
“While I was practicing the other day, I realized I’m not very skilled in playing the clarinet. I tried really hard, but I just couldn’t get it. I probably should quit.”
“Everything is hard before it is easy. Don’t give up, Chloe. You haven’t built your confidence up yet, but you will and just go for it!”
Once again, I drive home and immediately take out my clarinet. I stare at it for a while before I start playing and take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I take out Edelweiss and play the dotted-half note and eighth note section. I decrease the tempo so I can focus on the accuracy instead of the speed. I tell myself “You can do it. Just go for it.” I listen to myself play. Instead of hearing the expected foul group of notes, I hear music. I can do this; I know I can.
A week before the final summer recital, I meet with my partner who is playing the second part in Edelweiss. Heather and I are both first year students and both struggled in the beginning, but worked through our difficulties to make the music beautiful. We work on syncing our parts and making sure we enter and leave the notes together. We sound lovely and I know we will give an amazing performance.
It’s Saturday, July 19. This is the moment of truth; either make it or break it. We’ll make it. While I sit patiently listening to other performers, I can once again feel my heartbeat gradually speed up. I take a few deep breaths, but I can't stop the feeling of panic in my body. I tilt my head to the left and right cracking it to relieve some of my stress. All of my fingers are rapidly moving as I tap my leg furiously. My left leg is also twitching madly as I try to stop it with my shaking hands. I decide to stick my hands under my thighs to stop myself from shaking, but it just tenses me up even more. All of my muscles are clenched as I nervously watch the other performers. I check the program to see when I will be playing. I'm next. I take a couple deep and slow breaths and a couple deep and slow gulps too. After stretching out my legs and arms, I prepare to hear my name and walk on stage.
“Now playing Edelweiss, here’s Chloe and Heather.”
Together, we stand up and walk onto the stage. I follow Heather up the couple of stairs and behind our stands. We bow, let the audience clap for us, set our music on the stand, and sit down. I glance at her to make sure she’s ready then slightly lift my head to queue us in. The entrance is perfect and we continue to play in unison. I feel the spirit of the piece as we play it and I hear the beautiful sound all around the room. I nervously pick up and place down my fingers on the different keys and continue making the glorious music. My hands are tense though and I make a few mistakes here and there. Some of the notes are too early or late. Noticing this, I relax my shoulders, thus relaxing my hands and adjust my playing technique. We are now perfectly in sync. We end the piece in a lovely harmony and I cut us off by making a small circle with the bottom of my clarinet. We stop playing because the piece is over, stand up, and take our final bow.
The audience is applauding and cheering saying "Bravo" and "Encore" as I walk off the stage with my clarinet firmly across my chest and my fellow performer walking behind me. I can feel my mouth cramping because I'm smiling so much, but I can't stop. I guess I'm just too proud of what we accomplished. I can see that the audience also was pleased with the performance by their grinning faces and strong applause. I did it.